Job Advice Blog

Familial Connections


Today I would like to speak a little bit about nepotism- and perhaps not in the way that you are expecting. Nepotism is such an evil sounding word- but it does not need to be. Today I want to look at what nepotism really means, and why it is not inherently bad. When we think of nepotism we often jump to a comic picture of a large mustachioed CEO flicking his cigar as he hands his incompetent son an executive position- but this is by no means the only form nepotism takes. Nepotism is also the Mom and Pop corner store hiring their daughter to work the counter, it is the uncle who remembers his nephew’s passion for cars taking a risk on hiring that nephew as a mechanic, it is the college friends offering each other jobs when they can. Nepotism is favoritism based on kinship- but it is not always misguided.

The danger with nepotism is that the favored employee will not feel the need to work hard, will not feel the need to do their best. This, of course, is unacceptable. There is nothing wrong (or illegal) with an employer using their sway to help friends and family, there is something wrong when this kindness is abused. If a family member gets a job due to nepotism, and excels at it, this is a great situation for everybody- but if a family member gets a job due to nepotism, and is terrible, then everyone loses.

So if your uncle offers you a job, do not refuse it on principle, but also do not treat it any differently than you would treat any other job offer. Sit down and think about how good of a fit the job is, if it is a job you can see yourself excelling at. If it is a little above your paygrade, think about whether or not you would be able to rise to the challenge, and if you are willing to put in the level of work that would require. Be brutally honest with yourself. If you think you can hack it, then take it, and put your heart and soul into that job.

If you find yourself being interviewed, or beginning to work, you will have an extra struggle that other employees won’t- a personal relationship with the boss. This is a double edged sword. On one hand it is helpful, because it helps ensure that you and your boss are more in sync, as you understand when there are personal difficulties. However, it can limit productivity and professionalism. Navigating this is different in every case, but as a bottom line, I recommend not letting your relationship outside of work define your relationship at work. This does not mean, however, that you should ignore it- ignoring it would have it take up more space than it should. Acknowledge your shared lives, but talk mostly of other things. Let personal anecdotes come up in conversation, not dominate conversation. This will let you maintain your personal relationship, without having your personal relationship jeopardize your professional one.

Working for, or with, your family is not a bad thing. There can always be issues with nepotism, but they are not so huge that you should avoid opportunities because you perceive embedded nepotism. If you are striving to be your best, your work will take care of the rest.