There are few things more demoralizing than finding out you’ve been passed over for a promotion or project, only to find that one of your co-workers has snagged it, especially if you feel like you are more competent or capable than your colleague. Moments like these can break careers. Everything goes well until your envy rears its ugly head, and then your productivity goes down the drain. Today we are going to look at how to keep the green monster that is envy at bay, and how to get back to being a dynamite employee.
Do something outside of work. This seems counter-intuitive, but it helps a lot. Do something that you feel really good about that has nothing to do with your job. This could be volunteer work, or art, or joining a local theater. You want to have something completely outside of your job that makes you work hard and makes you feel good about yourself. This gives you a sense of purpose that has nothing to do with your job title, making any workplace ebbs and flows completely manageable.
Recognize your workplace flaws. Nobody is perfect, and when it feels like the world is not giving you what you feel you deserve, it is the perfect time to check in with yourself and see what you could be doing wrong. Start logging how much time you spend on breaks, if you are always on time to meetings, how quickly and effectively you respond to e-mails. You will either find that you are doing everything right (and have a little more data to work with), or you will find that there are little things that you could do differently that would make you a better employee.
Ask for advice. Your co-worker just got the promotion you wanted- which means they were able to do something you weren’t. This moves them from just being a peer to being a potential mentor. Feel free to ask them what they did to land the job and if they have any advice for you if you wanted to do the same. This can help you get information, and it can also help you manage your envy. If your co-worker gives you solid advice it becomes harder to see them as an adversary, which makes it harder to resent them for doing well.
Be quiet. Getting passed over is tough- but no one in the office needs to know about the fact that it is tough for you. The last thing you want to do is complain about management to other people in the work place, it makes you look like a very problematic employee. Talk to family and friends outside of your work about how it feels (you don’t want to bottle up your feelings!), but don’t bring the negativity into the office, it can only serve to hurt your career.
Getting passed over is tough, but it can also be an incredibly rewarding learning experience. If you follow this advice you will find yourself looking back at the whole experience as a positive one!